Weird Celeb Portraits


Written by Jade French
19 Monday 19th November 2012

Top image: Oprah Winfrey with Eggplant, Squash, and Balloon by bijijoo

Modern Day Master

Still Life with Kim Kardashian on a toilet by bijijoo

Artist bijijoo is the king of the celebrity portrait. He just really burrows into the skin of those famous faces and places them in their most perfect settings. Oprah with an eggplant just works. Plus, Kim Kardashian looks like the kinda gal to spend a certain amount of time on the loo. Then there is his series Hamtopia where you can see such stars as the Pope Benedict XVI and Obama cradling their pork (not like that!).

His pièce de résistance is the combination of fortune telling and Justin Timberlake. Accurately rendered portraits of JT can help you stop crying a river and make those tricky life choices.

Faces of Justin Timberlake by bijijoo

Now your aura is cleansed and fate has been mastered it's time for some more truly awful portraiture...

Let's Get Political!

Political portraiture can make or break a campaign, and the perception the public have in mind when it comes to those in the positions of power is crucial. With that in mind, many politicians have begun to commission more avant-garde portraits but this is something else - we give you: Bare-Buttocked Obama Wrestling Bear with Unicorn.

Or, why not try and get the sympathy vote with a dejected downward smile, puppy dog eyes and a melting forehead? (FYI this is supposed to be Winston Churchill)


Ye Olde Portraits

Copying the techniques of the Old Masters is all well and good and at least we can tell who they are (Rachel from Friends and Dr. Who respectively). JenAn looks kind of awesome dressed like a Jane Austen wet dream. Saying that, you have to wonder who's taking the time to badly photoshop celebrities into Old Masters - and the unfinished masterpiece below is just plain creepy. Cherubs, a strategically placed red robe and Matt Smith are not a good combination.

Body Portraits

Chairman Mao and Colonel Gaddafi by Dito Von Tease

How better to say 'I love you Mao' than to immortalise him in a thumb portrait? Well, Italian Dito Von Tease (it's funny because 'dito' is 'finger' in Italian and von Tease is like Dita von Tease. Puns!) did just that. By taking well-known faces and putting them under the thumb Dito has created a whole mini-world of famous people's portraits.

For the mavericks out there why not take it one step further than a photoshopped thumb and get a body portrait of your fave celeb tattooed FOREVER onto your skin. Be inspired by such fabulous designs as breakdown Britney or Patrick Swayze as a centaur.

Self Portrait

James Franco by James Franco

This could have been a compilation of the worst celebrity portraits, from the talented wonder of Pierce Brosnan looking like Rainier Wolfcastle to Joni Mitchell dressed as Van Gogh.

But there is no celeb whose cultural output has been as significant as our main man James Franco (for total artistic accuracy one must always use his full name). We get the impression that the world according to James Franco is that it revolves around James Franco - whether he's an epilepsy-inducing GIF or ripping off Cindy Sherman. These self (indulgent) portraits are revered world over - Marina Abramovic, who has chilled with James Franco at the Venice Film Festival even sent him smiley iPhone self-portraits in return for his artistic output. WTF?

Untitled Film Stills (Inspired by Cindy Sherman) by James Franco

Food Portraits

Now, the phrase 'too much time on your hands' screams to mind when we look at food portraiture, but then we need these kind of art stars in the world to make us realise that the void in our lives can finally be filled with a Ryan Gosling pancake. Look how blue his eyes are!

Pancake Gosling by Katherine Kalnes

Plasticine Portraits

MJ by Karen Caldicott

This is a call to arms. Get yourselves down to the Early Learning Center and stock up on Plasticine and play dough. Now we can all recreate our favourite celebs in the medium of sculpture. You could give Jacko that aging physics teacher look you always thought he would wear so well. Or you could give Jack Black a sausage. The beauty is the freedom of imagination.

Jack Black by Karen Caldicott

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