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BOY PUNCHES HOLE IN MILLION POUND PAINTING

Boy Punches Hole In Million Pound Painting
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BOY PUNCHES HOLE IN MILLION POUND PAINTING



Written by Jack Blocker
25 Tuesday 25th August 2015

Step forward, anonymous Taiwanese boy, for contained within your turquoise Puma t-shirt are humanities flaws writ large. For we know, at least past the age of four, that placing one foot in front of the other will no doubt propel us forward while keeping us upright, there will be times when said feet will meet an obstruction.

But while we've all had the passage of our gait blocked at inopportune moments, most of us suffer the consequences in more banal or even hilarious forms. Falling in dog-shit springs to mind. Not you, my Taipei tourist. Because your indelicate topple saw you go fist-first through the canvas of a Paolo Porpora painting, valued at £950,000.

We also know that your age can betray your coordination. At only 12-years-old, it's safe to assume you deem galleries boring as fuck. And when the mind wanders, so do the eyes, thus so does the head, and the awareness, soon leading to the fall. 

I also think you might have done it on purpose you little shit. That trip doesn't look realistic to me, and if banter's as valuable a currency over there as it is in my local, then that's a flop worthy of Lebron James.

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