There’s a point in a ridiculously famous person’s life when their day job just isn’t good enough anymore. When this occurs, the celebrity in question attempts a move to new pastures: from sex-tape to singer, singer to actor, or from film star to fashion. Think Mariah Carey in Glitter, pornstar Kim Kardashian’s single Jam, pornstar Paris Hilton’s single Stars Are Blind, or that time Bruce Willis cut The Return Of Bruno.
First it was films and restaurant chains, now the most popular venture inspiring celebrities to share their “creativity” is art and - unsurprisingly - galleries are willing to materialise any ideas an A-lister throws their way. It started with Pace Gallery, who opened its doors to Jay-Z and Marina Abramovic’s Picasso Baby. In case you missed it, the ‘performance art film’ featured Jay Z spitting bars at people who look like your mum’s mates.
Pace then allowed James Franco to exhibit photographs of himself in various stages of drag in a homage to Cindy Sherman’s Untitled Film Stills.
New York Times art critic Roberta Smith hoped “that someone or something would make him stop.”
Recently, Miley Cyrus had an exhibition in New York called Dirty Hippie. The centrepiece was a spliff glued to a vibrator. It was basically a load of drug paraphanelia glued to a bunch of other shit, meaning it really screamed ‘lost property at a Klaxons gig’. Here’s what she had to say about it:
“I had a bunch of fucking junk and shit, and so instead of letting it be junk and shit, I turned it into something that made me happy...I did the pineapple because you know what they say about pineapple, right?
If you drink a lot of pineapple juice you’re going to have yummy cum. So that’s why I put it on the dick with a bunch of babies, and it says, ‘Fuck.’ I try to think about everything so it has a story to me.
I just sit around and smoke weed anyway, so I might as well sit around, smoke weed, and do something. And this is me doing something.”
Still glad you stayed in school?
Who’s letting this happen?! Can celebrities literally suggest doing anything in the name of art, and we’ll let them carry it out? Yep, pretty much. Unfortunately, materialising dumb ideas makes art and the industry look equally dumb.