WAYS TO AVOID THE WALK OF SHAME

Ways to Avoid the Walk of Shame
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WAYS TO AVOID THE WALK OF SHAME



Written by Hatti Whitman
12 Monday 12th December 2011

Never Sleep Somewhere Where You’re Likely To Get Stuff In Your Hair

Whilst on a tour of Europe, a friend went to an all-night party in a tiny village in Austria. She ended up (quite literally) rolling in the hay with some locals. The next morning she had to find her way back to her hostel with mascara all down her face and straw in her hair. Moral? Always keep a hairbrush and some baby wipes handy. And try to avoid sleeping in a barn.

If You’re Going Out In Costume, Be Prepared To Come Home In It

A group of ‘lads’ at my university had a lion costume that had to be worn by one member of the ‘pack’ every time they went out. It looked disgusting and smelt even worse, and yet it had quite a steady hit rate with the ladies. Whoever said drink affects judgement? It was therefore not a rare sight of a Monday morning (Sunday night is student night, y’all) to spot one of them slinking back to halls with, quite literally, his tail between his legs. One time however one of them was spotted by a number of people, strutting up the road with such a spring in his step that it did not matter that he was dressed in a raggedy lion outfit with only one shoe and lipstick all over his face. His shenanigans with a young lady from the other side of town and subsequent 'victory march' became the stuff of minor JCR legend. Now that’s what I call a stride of pride.

Ain’t No High Like A Natural Chemical High

When discussing the offending advert with friends, one of them shrugged off the entire concept of a walk of shame because, and I quote, she feels that ‘The sex endorphins carry you through any sense of shame.’ Funnily enough I’ve heard sex cited as a hangover cure before, so I guess if you want to leave that one-night-stand with a little extra glow, you know what to do.

Get Inventive

If you’re going out and you’re thinking you might not be coming home that evening, try thinking outside the box. A guy I know used to put a change of clothes in a locker at his gym before heading off on a night out; one of my best friends won’t go anywhere without a huge coat and bag that mean that, although she always has to put stuff in the cloakroom, she’s never yet had to do a walk of shame. Another bought herself new shoes in Debenhams as she made her way home one morning because she couldn’t face the journey in heels. If you’re ready to spend, you might save yourself a red face come the morning. Alternatively, do as one girl I know does, and steal guys' shirts to wear home over your little dress/skirt from the night before. She calls them 'souvenirs'. I also know a guy who once stole a girl's underwear and wore them to work because 'I'd already worn my boxers inside out the day before.' 

The cast of US Skins work the group walk of shame look

If All Else Fails…

It’s only one morning (this week…) and everyone has been there. OK, maybe the old lady tutting at you at the bus stop hasn’t been there, but you should feel sorry for her. You can only really get away with a WoS if you’re under thirty (at which point it becomes either a walk of utter tragedy or incredibly creepy. *Cough* Caroline Flack *Cough*) so now is the time to stand tall in those heels or straighten that tie, and proudly strut your slightly worse-for-wear self. Designer dress or no.

And Finally...

This video re-imagines the Walk of Shame in the style of March of the Penguins. Amazing.

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Comments

  • Guest: willom88
    Sat 17 - Dec - 2011, 15:09
    Spare tights and a woolly jumper! Fur coat and no knickers too
  • Guest: willom88
    Sat 17 - Dec - 2011, 14:56
    Harvey Nichols customers either live within the area or can afford a cab, either way Miranda is safe from walking the shame, even though it's likely her mother is a marble mouthed whore, turned respectable since marriage to Walter the wanker banker.
  • Guest: ekh333
    Mon 12 - Dec - 2011, 17:19
    Really, really hate the word 'shame' being associated with women having sex, in any context. Can we make this phrase die please? Or at least balance it with a feature on guys' walk of shame fashion? The women in the Harvey Nichols ad look like rape victims. Very disturbing and messed up.
  • Guest: haha
    Mon 12 - Dec - 2011, 17:11
    Spare tights and a woolly jumper!

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