JUSTIN BIEBER'S SCREEN DEBUT

Justin Bieber's Screen Debut
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JUSTIN BIEBER'S SCREEN DEBUT



Written by Onjuli Datta
04 Wednesday 04th August 2010

 

No doubt you’ve heard the news already, but just in case you’ve been plugging your ears to the sound of girlish screams for the last few days: Justin Bieber is going to star in a movie! Better yet, it’s going to be all about the thing he treasures most. Himself! The film will be appearing alongside a memoir, mostly constructed of photos from Bieber’s tour rehearsals. It’s certainly exciting stuff, and we can’t wait to witness the earth shattering revelations both pieces are sure to give us. The film is scheduled for release next February, but really, who can expect us to wait that long for our fix of Biebery goodness? To quench our thirst until then, here’s a list of movies we’d love to see the little tyke try his hand in.

Clockwork Orange Bieber
 
The only thing more terrifying than a gang of violent youths in a hellish future would be a gang of violent youths led by Justin Bieber. Spreading horror and fear through synchronized dance routines and creepy press shots, somebody like Bieber could turn any regular street gang movie into a hellish descent into oblivion. Sadly for him, the reign of terror ends when he’s caught, thrown into jail, and then forced to watch his own music videos for hours on end. Enough to drive anybody insane, and with any luck by the end of it he’d be so disgusted with his songs he’d not be able to play them, ever again.
 
Billy Elliot Bieber
 
Smalltown boy striving for success in a kind of girly medium? It’s the perfect role! Bieber might have a little trouble getting to grips with the nature of Billy’s passion for dance (“You mean he was genuinely talented?”) but he’ll be able to relate to Billy’s struggle against homophobia perfectly. The only problem is that Billy’s main problem was that he was a guy, and Bieber’s mistaken for a girl so often you can’t help but wonder - would anyone actually notice?
 
 
 
 
The Shining Bieber
 
So instead of packing up and moving to Atlanta to be near the puppeteers of his career, Bieber and his mother move to a creepy hotel in the winter and then he goes insane. He appears obsessed with his work, “writing” the next big “hit” piece of “music”. But when we finally get to see the fruit of his labour thus far, it’s just frantic repetitions of baby, baby, baby, ooh. The only problem might be that it’ll be hard to find a pair of young girls calm enough to play the twins, since most will go insane on sight of Bieber and chase him shrieking though the hotel - despite his insisting that it’s supposed to be the other way around.
 
Inception Bieber
 
Oh, come on, it’d be a hit from twitter mentions alone. Justin Bieber slips into your dreams, steals all of your cultural integrity, and leaves an album sampler in its place. It’s possible that he’s tortured by he moral dilemma of this, but that’s pretty unlikely. By the end you’re left wondering what exactly it is that just happened - but the confusion and anxiety never quite go away...
 

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Comments

  • Guest: wender0809
    Thu 02 - Sep - 2010, 19:50
    nice singing>>..///:)

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