LINDSAY LOHAN VS JODIE FOSTER

LINDSAY LOHAN vs JODIE FOSTER
Comments

LINDSAY LOHAN VS JODIE FOSTER



Written by Don't Panic
03 Monday 03rd November 2008
Sometimes it’s better to leave things as they are. They don't sell Ikea remakes of Francis Bacon's triptych do they? Well maybe they do, but they're undoubtedly crap. Did you read Jeffrey Archer's re-write of Wuthering Heights? No - course you didn't cos he didn't write it cos it would have been shit... even for Jeffrey Archer.
 
Freaky Friday
 
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Et6kMqIiiJs&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Et6kMqIiiJs&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
 
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5le9W4-DOmQ&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5le9W4-DOmQ&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
 
Jodie Foster is a million times better than Lindsay Lohan FULL STOP.  But that Freaky Friday film is just weird cause isn't it kind of sick that the dad is doing 'husbandy' things with his daughter? The film totally glosses over what happens at night-time when things get 'conjugal'. And also isn't it a weird coincidence that both Jodie and Lindsay came out as lesbians later on?  The title is bang on.
 
Death Race 2000
 
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pphMecGZQ_s&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pphMecGZQ_s&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
 
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lifQDkj7nIc&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lifQDkj7nIc&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
 
Death Race was a triumph - story of a trans-continental road race where drivers pick-up points for fatalities - it contained all the hallmarks of a brilliantly kitsch classic. A cast including a hand-grenade toting (literally… his hand is a grenade) David Carradine and Sly Stallone doing his best Al Capone. The 2008 remake directed by Paul (I make the movies of video games) WS Anderson managed to wipe out every single bit of charm and quirkiness in favour of a destructionfest at the hands of Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson and Lovejoy. Instead of running over innocent bystanders prison inmates maim and kill each other in the name of television ratings. Even HD explosions cannot save this miserably pointless film.
 
The Thomas Crown Affair
 
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rA8YpHQHBd0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rA8YpHQHBd0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
 
<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3lJ4GwHXagY?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3lJ4GwHXagY?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>
 
Brosnan is too smug to fill McQueen's shoes and Renee Russo is no Faye Dunaway, even with a good wardrobe. There's zero sexual tension between Brosnan and Russo which basically negates the whole film because everyone knows it's all about the chess piece scene where Dunaway caresses McQueen's exposed bishop.
 
Day of the Jackal
 
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/h6xMnTPEzPo&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/h6xMnTPEzPo&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
 
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JKV6_hB6nV0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JKV6_hB6nV0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>

Hello?? How is Bruce Willis even in the same universe as Edward Fox? Who decided the Day of the Jackal was an action film? They were SO wrong about that. The remake has none of the class, the sexy cars, the gorgeous locations, the tension, the sparse dialogue, the elegance of cinematography...  It actually makes me feel violent to think about how much they fucked it up.

Don't Panic attempt to credit photographers and content owners wherever possible, however due to the sheer size and nature of the internet this is sometimes impractical or impossible. If you see any images on our site which you believe belong to yourself or another and we have incorrectly used it please let us know at panic@dontpaniconline.com and we will respond asap.



Comments

MORE FROM DON'T PANIC