Top Biopics We Want To See


Written by Brian Welk
31 Monday 31st May 2010

Who would be your first casting choice to play Frank Sinatra? Martin Scorsese’s pick shocked anyone who’s seen one of his movies in the last ten years when Scorsese said his first choice was not Leonardo DiCaprio to portray Ol’ Blue Eyes but instead was Al Pacino. Starring beside Scarface as Dean Martin? None other than Robert DeNiro, and it’s been rumored that Adam Sandler will play Joey Bishop, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I love Scorsese, but you know what might be a better biopic than that? Anything. Here just a few ideas that we’d love see come to life.

1. Noel and Liam Gallagher
The music world knows that if these two brothers could have simply kept their egos in check and stopped their constant bickering for just one minute, they could’ve actually put out some good music for longer than a few years in the 90’s. But wait, their animosity toward one another could make a great film. I personally would love to see a re-enactment of Noel attacking Liam with a cricket bat. It could be called “Looking Back in Anger” and would star Martin Freeman in a duel role!
2. George Carlin
George Carlin’s been dead for two years already and he doesn’t have a movie yet? So Andy Kaufman wrestles Jerry Lawler and gets portrayed by Jim Carrey but Carlin was a narrator on Thomas the Tank Engine, Rufus from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and has an equally riveting FCC court case surrounding his infamous ‘Seven Dirty Words’ comedy routine and gets nothing? He needs to be played by James Cromwell or John Malkovich or something, because if you stick with other comedians, we’ll soon be hearing news about Jack Black or Seth Rogen portraying the legend.
3. Judy Garland
Now here’s an actress whose story is pure Oscar-bait. Judy Garland’s childhood fame and rocky adulthood is not only great source material but is blockbuster ready. She developed a drug addiction (that eventually killed her) while maintaining her physique because of accusations that she was not as attractive as she appeared on screen. Now where can we find a singer whose looks are overrated and has a drug problem? Who do you think? Lady Gaga or Amy Winehouse?
4. Eric Cartman
Coming this summer: the live action biography of Eric Cartman (played by Jerry O’Connell circa Stand By Me). Find out how Cheesy Poofs, anal probes and Beefcake 5000 made the boy. Relive the emotional rollercoaster that is his life as we explore his anger, passion, joy and frustration toward Scott Tenorman, Trent Boyette, Jennifer Lopez and the entire Jewish faith.
5. Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood’s got a more interesting career path than anyone in Hollywood. The story of how he went from Spaghetti Western star to renegade cop to living directorial legend to 80-year-old eternal badass is a screenplay I want to see. There’s just one problem: How do you cast someone to play someone as tough and generally cool as Eastwood when he is the only 80-year-old badass on the planet? If you have an idea, go ahead. Make my day.
Other notable ideas
Kurt Cobain life story played by ANYONE other than Robert Pattinson, and starring Dave Grohl as himself.
Frank Frazetta – Recently deceased comic book illustration innovator whose story should be told in an extended animated montage
Stanley Kubrick biopic ideally directed by Stanley Kubrick
Paddington Bear as directed by Werner Herzog
Michael Jackson. Duh.


Don't Panic attempt to credit photographers and content owners wherever possible, however due to the sheer size and nature of the internet this is sometimes impractical or impossible. If you see any images on our site which you believe belong to yourself or another and we have incorrectly used it please let us know at and we will respond asap.


  • Guest: ciaransanchez
    Sun 06 - Mar - 2011, 22:27
    Kubrick please
  • Guest: beaniemon89
    Tue 01 - Jun - 2010, 21:05
    Get Clint Eastwood to play himself and direct, call it Eastwood on Eastwood (which is also the name of a western themed gay porn).