(WHO CAST?) THE LOVELY BONES

(Who Cast?) The Lovely Bones
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(WHO CAST?) THE LOVELY BONES



Written by Joseph Wade
15 Monday 15th February 2010

Peter Jackson hasn't seen SNL's 'Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals' because if he had he'd have stopped him turning into a parody of himself. His acting around his onscreen brood is as if he's never seen children before let alone fathered some. It's not just Barky Bark who undermines the first, pre-purgatory segment of the film, he's aided and abetted by Rachel Weisz (looking far too Hollywood as the midwestern soccer mum) and Susan Saradon (as the alcoholic GILF who dispenses make-out tips to her soon to be dead Granddaughter.)

The Lovely Bones is based on one of those books you'd always see people reading on the tube (before books were swept aside by free sheets). It concerns a murdered girl's afterlife as she observes her murderer and her family's trama.

The family life is so unconvincing that it makes it difficult to care about them when the girl goes awol. Jacko would have probably been happier if his suburban family were all carrying warhammrs and chasing goblins about, perhaps realising this he switches the action to a fantasy Care Bear/My Little Pony realm of waterfalls and balloons. It's all a bit Judeo-Christian and as with the actual religions it leaves one pondering simple metaphysical questions like if everyone goes to heaven, why is it so empty? However, once the CGI starts flowing Pete regains his composure and there are a few good bits down on Earth courtesy of the child snatcher.

The Lovely Bones is released on 19th February

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