That's because everyone talks about this topic, every weekend, all the time. We also moan about train fares and rent, as well as phone bills, bikini waxes, cocaine, 10-pack cigarettes and dining out. A lot of these complaints are totally justified. Rent and rail prices are ridiculous and we should spend every waking moment campaigning to have them lowered. Drinks and food are also worthy targets, especially because a £5 pint will most likely boast a label claiming it's brewed in London. What the fuck are these craft beer places spending their money on? Social media managers?
But unlike rent and tfl, we still have other options when it comes to booze and sustenance. I know 'Spoons and flat-roof boozers aren't everyone's cup of tea, but you'll do well to buffer your bank account if you find a new pleasure in sipping £2.50 pints of Tuborg and shooting the breeze with locals who might just hate you. With food we're more concerned with quality, but then that makes it easy to remember not to blow a day's wages on gimmicky restaurants with outrageous prices.
Your new drinking buddy
Take for instance, a new pop-up that's set to join the myriad others pock-marking the face of London. This one is going to let you sample the usual range of £10 cocktails - providing you get to the bar before time, because 26,200 people have already entered the ballot to get on the list to pay £20 to enter - and will run for one week only, between March 19-25.
The reason folks are registering like women before an Iranian election is simple. This pop-up will feature owls. That's right, a bunch of owls are going to be perched in the bar. I'm no ornithologist, but I have been to a zoo or two, and from my memory owls are fucking boring and not conducive to getting pissed. In fact, with their nocturnal lifestyle, rotating heads and rodent-gutting talons, they're about as much of a bar-buzzkill as racist jokes and food served on chopping boards. Also, their status as the guest of honour at a pop-up probably means any human present will have to sip their Cosmo in relative silence, seeing as owls aren't really known for great banter, because they're owls.
You have to feel for the birds too, because they'll be subjected to a 360 degree view of all the twats gawping at them.
The week-long event is for an owl charity, so who am I to criticise the preservation of these majestic creatures? But if was the giving type I'd probably choose to donate my money to more pressing causes, especially if I had to part with £20 in the first instance. If you disagree with me then sign up for the waiting list for Annie The Owl here.
Come 19 March, I'll be saving my pennies elsewhere.
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