Picture the scene: you're piss drunk and stumble into your flat while you partner is asleep, having previously decried Valentine's Day as 'made up Hallmark shit' and gone off on a good old midweek binge. You crack open the bedroom door and sit on the bed, ripping open the new Adults Meal from Burger King (from participating Israeli branches only); you've already got Coke on the bed, napkins dropped everywhere and your rhythmic chomp on a Whopper has roused the one your companion.
Before they get into the whole 'you're a shitty partner, shouldn't have wasted my life on you, I want you gone' schpiel - whip out your complimentary Burger King Adults Toy! It could a head massager, a frilly trimmed eye mask or feather duster; the kinky smell of meat and onion rings baked into the toy should be enough to get your partner going, or otherwise just jack it as they make use of the eye mask.
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