Unfortunately, much like a fool who clearly knows not of her shit, this woman didn't wait to pay for a reduced price bottle in Duty Free, but tried to take one through airport security with her. And so begins a tale of great bravery. Rather than disposing of the bottle in the trash, or having the desk forward it to her destination, she chugged the fucker. The only other person I've known to drink this much Rémy Martin in one sitting is the rapper E-40. Yet unlike the Bay Area musician behind 'Ghostride The Whip', Miss Zhao did not know how to function.
E-40, with some cognac, getting ready to function.
According to The Nanfang, "Zhao started acting wildly and yelling incoherently. Due to her massive inebriation, when Zhao fell to the floor, that’s where she stayed. When police arrived at the scene, they decided not to let her board her flight."
You may think this act heroic, but please don't let her cavalier approach to high-end liquor consumption cloud your logic. The fact is, if you're flying, don't let this be you! If you want to get battered before a flight (you do), then you need to follow these simple rules.
- Buy the cheapest booze possible in Duty Free.
- Decant booze into half empty bottles of coke. Do it in an airport toilet so as not to draw attention of no-fly list editors.
- Go to 'Spoons and spend half the cost of your airline ticket on Woo-Woos and Stellas. If you're flying long haul spend as much as you like.
- Once on the plane, chug coke/booze mix as quickly as possible.
- If Duty Free is only handed to you as you board the plane, in one of those stupid airtight bags, then head to the plane toilet to make same coke mixture. Bring it to the cubicle with a smile on your face! No one wants to think that bag you're carrying to the shitter is full of plastic explosives.
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