AUSTRALIA TO COMPETE IN EUROVISION SONG CONTEST

Australia To Compete In Eurovision Song Contest
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AUSTRALIA TO COMPETE IN EUROVISION SONG CONTEST



Written by Jack Blocker
11 Wednesday 11th February 2015

Australia, where you call strangers mates and your mates sick cunts, has always blessed us with a broad range of cultural gifts. From niche social movements like Neknominations and a decent minimum wage, to the more pervasive influence of Iggy Azalea and Tony Abbott, our antipodean pals sure know what it takes to make folks north of the equator sit up and take note.

Which is why the Eurovision Song Contest has decided to let the country enter the competition this year. The dated proceedings need shaking up, and if San Marino and Turkey can't do it then maybe an EDM cover of Men at Work by someone from Neighbours can bring in the ratings.

Sick 1 m8 let's get rekt!

Of course, the geographical parameters of the contest seem to be clear in the title, so you may wonder why a country several thousand miles from Europe is allowed to compete. Well, if you've ever got battered on a Tuesday in Clapham, you'll know that we're as culturally aligned with Straya as we physically aren't. Plus, if Azerbaijan is allowed to enter then they may as well let anyone have a go.

No word on who their entry will be, but if it isn't Parkway Drive covering Sandstorm I'm voting for Iran.

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