23 Wednesday 23rd July 2014
The very idea of a Metal X Under Armour collab seems anachronistic. For all the guys out there who have no idea what I'm talking about, let me explain. Under Armour is a brand of high-performance sportswear that hench bros wear to look swole, shredded and vascular in the weight room.
A TYPICAL BRO WHO HAS A CLOSET FULL OF UNDER ARMOUR
Metal is a genre of music favoured by socially incompetent white males with extremely high opinions of themselves, a sexual track-record that would make Anne Widdicombe take the piss, and very little intention to even lift.
A TYPICAL METL FAN
So it really makes no sense that the sportswear giant have made a line of t-shirts featuring a design that would look better suited to Lamb of God merch than a Met-RX muscle vest. But then this isn't the first time healthy lifestyle X metal = existence (I'm smh-ing in astonishment too). Just the other week, a Burzum tee was for sale on the Sports Direct website, and before that Kendall Jenner - the apex of human genetics <3 - was snapped wearing a Slayer t shirt.
Will this usher in a new era of jacked dudes at Downloand and megababes at Bloodstock? Lol no of course it won't, but the wick away technology may help mask a lot of back-sweat when ur raging in the pit.
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