Don't Panic isn't at Coachella. But that doesn't mean we can't bring you the hottest news from the world's coolest festival. For instance, famous cheeseburger addict and alcohol enthusiast David Hasselhoff is proving he's forever young by twirling around the desert with his 20-year-old girlfriend, whom he stole from a factory in Wales.

Here's to you Hoff. Please tell us where you get your quaaludes from.