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Leave Britney Alone!!1!1!!!


Written by Jack Blocker
10 Thursday 10th July 2014

There's an audio making the rounds featuring Britney Spears singing without autotune. It was apparently recorded during a warm-up session before she laid down the final cut of her track Alien. Why not take a listen.

Crazy innit. Her voice there doesn't sound like her voice does in the final verson?! WE SHOULD KILL HER.

Seriously, if I was Britney Spears I'd never get in the booth. I'd get my manager to pay Solange to cut the track while I smoked meth in Malibu. I'd get a hologram to play every show during my Vegas stint and if anyone complained I'd send a bag of my shit to their room and tell them to sell it on Craigslist. I'd scan the endless posts and articles about my autotune faux-pas and wonder if these dickheads even know what pop-music/a vagina is.

If you want authenticity go spin your limited edition colour vinyl of In The Aeroplane Over The Sea while scanning OKCupid for women who won't talk to you. If you want fun go listen to shimmering, over-produced pop made by talentless drug addicts who can't sing.

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