12 Thursday 12th February 2015
Madonna's latest album, Rebel Heart, is essentially the musical version of an embarrassing mother who attempts to 'kick it' with you and your friends. First off - and perhaps most crucially - no one wants to hear what it has to say. Secondly, it's marketing strategy has featured all the peacocking stunts of a failed pick-up artist at a West End bar.
She released the first music video on Snapchat, knowing full well that people LOVE holding their finger on their phone's screen to ensure a gyrating 50-something doesn't tick away unseen. Like a lot of people, I reckon you probably didn't catch it. After that disappointment, she's targeting the one demographic who have a track record of preserving way-past-it female singers: Gay guys.
If you're on Grindr and want to spend your V-Day chatting to Madonna instead of hooking up with guys, then all you have to do is mimic Madonna's Rebel Heart album cover in your profile pic.
That's such a tempting proposition, that I may just have to download the app myself!
Speak soon Madge.
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