Morrissey's written a novel. It's called List of the Lost, and I think it's about a track team or something. More importantly, it contains this passage. It's ostensibly about sex:
"Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone."
So the next time you have sex, make sure Morrissey isn't capturing the magic on his long-lens camera, while he masturbates into a pile of wilted pansies, or you could be the subject of his next novel.
On a side note, shouts to Penguin's designers. The cover is great:
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