THE MOST BADASS MUSIC VIDEO EVER - A REVIEW

The Most Badass Music Video Ever - A Review
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THE MOST BADASS MUSIC VIDEO EVER - A REVIEW



Written by Jack Blocker
19 Tuesday 19th March 2013

 

I’m not familiar with the band Biting Elbows, but they are obviously hardcore. Their new one sounds like a Vegas magician’s entrance music. It’s how Zach Braff feels when he puts Splenda in his morning coffee.  It’s the kind of song that would be playing in the Clio when you realise you’ve already had a glass of Rosé that day – and you don’t give a fuck.

Now check this video. Some badass is getting interrogated by the KGB or some shit. But these guys don’t know he’s Comrade Hardass, so now they’re fucked: He shoots one dude, lobs a dog out a window, then twats some prick with a pool ball. Question. Why are all the balls on that table white? Answer. Our guy must’ve done it: ‘Hey, fuck these guys, I’ll switch up their shit to fuck with them – endless potted white fouls for everyone’.  Now he’s running, picking off KGBs like nobody’s business until he’s out the building. He steals a car, shoots some more guys, and runs straight past this couple who keep making out despite the carnage. Now I’m not sure if it’s the toughness you get from living behind the Iron Curtain, but I would have to be making out with Topanga from Boy Meets World at Taco Bell to not notice that shit. That Bad Mother-Mother must be the band’s drummer. Next, our hero flies up to a roof before running straight into the tits of a chick who’s kicking it at some dead guy’s pool-party. DAMN SON.

Then it goes on for about another 2 minutes so I stopped watching. But I highly recommend this shit. I think it will definitely go well with videos of guys watching UFC or on the closing credits of Crank 3 or possibly Crank 4. 10 out of 10.

To see how the arts are flourishing in contemporary Russia, follow @JackBlocker

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