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The Rapist - a Poem


Written by Archie Thomas
01 Monday 01st February 2010

The Rapist was late for his interview

But he’d sure dressed the part

He wore burgundy deck shoes,

hand-made in Maine, America,

and a belt made of kangaroo.


Sure, he was sweating like a rapist

But he affected an air of cool breeze

As the buxom receptionist handed him

a glass of lukewarm water.


Where do you see yourself in five years?

asked the eagle-eyed panel,

Why do you want to work for

Her Majesty’s Prison Guard?


Sure, he was sweating like a rapist

but he spoke of his enthusiasm to learn,

his overpowering strength as a team-player

and how sometimes he preferred

to work alone.


Working late nights is no problem, he proffered,

I’ve hardly slept a wink anyway since

I moved back in with my parents


This was going well he thought,

glad they hadn’t noticed his

pigeon toed feet or clocked the way

his tiny teeth pile up like a roundabout bottleneck.


Hell, he’d even done so well

That they promised they’d

maybe be in touch.


For more of Archie's musings click the rapist below


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