It's tour riders and prima donna antics which usually earn artists derision. After all, who're four talent show singers/Soundcloud rapper/bleach-haired boarding school grungers to make demands of regional venues when they can't even shift 79p songs? Perhaps our amusement lies in the fact that it's the expected behaviour of big characters, a part of what Q Magazine would call the 'rock'n'roll canon'; what else would Metallica demand but ‘BACON – VERY IMPORTANT THAT BACON BE AVAILABLE AT EVERY MEAL AND DURING DAY.’
You can't really criticise a harmless old setlist, though. It's just a piece of paper which keeps the band on track, a token to fling into the crowd at lights out, something for Rik Waller's management to write while he speedballs. However, this Union J setlist really deserves some picking apart.
C'mon guys, I have it on good authority that 1D have this info beamed into their heads by NASA and Jessie J has a trained monkey with an iPad, you can move on from the DIY thing. Your Dischord-era fans are gone and never coming back.
2. Staged banter
Even the most boggle-eyed sweating lunatic of a fan knows that boy bands are manufactured. Is the fact that Union J can't invent quips like 'Thank You' and 'sing-a-long' by themselves a devastating revelation or just a sign that they should probz finish their GCSEs?
3. SELFIE TIME
In fairness, if they manage to convey baaing or mooing through still photos then it'd be more than Leon Jackson ever did.
4. Not listed, but my source alleges: "Also found a willy warmer in one of the trunks.."to keep your todger toasty"'
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