Written by Seun Mustapha
Photos and illustrations by Joe Watson
21 Monday 21st July 2008

Hello Wild Stallions.

ZAC AND MIKEE: Hi, hi, hi, hi and hi.

So could you guys introduce yourselves?

Z: Zak. Vocals. Accordian. Nudity.

M: Mike. Drums. Vocals.

Z: We are also (but not present) Cameron (synths), Pete (bass) and other Pete (guitars)

OK, cool, so how long have you been a band? We literally just heard about you at the show.

Z: Erm... Good question. How long have we been a band? Same sorta length of time as We Heart has been a label. So... Erm... Some time.

M: We started as a two piece doom/grind duo (me and Zak) about two years ago.

You were signed to Wrong Music at some point according to that fat guy over there. How did you hook up with Henry Shitmatt?

Z: Haha we were never signed to Wrong. The fat man is wrong. Henry sent us a message once asking if we could give him a track for a comp! Then I booked Shitmatt for a gig that had to be cancelled unfortunately. We heard nothing more after that!

M: I think we were meant to record something new for him, but being the true professionals we are, still haven’t got round to it! We should maybe drop him a message though sometime…

Be excellent to each other...

Where did you come up with the name? We're guessing it's inspired by Bill S. Preston Esq, and Ted Theodore Logan's Wyld Stallyns.

Z: We were just two guys, in kids' batman outfits to start with. But we wanted to spell our name correctly, not with fucking Ys.

M: Yeah, we started as a joke band to annoy the locals in a metal pub down in Weymouth, so the name was kind of fitting I guess.

How cool were those guys when they were just a horrible garage punk band, before they turned into a Kiss cover band at the end of bogus journey? Worst ending for a film ever IMO. I was almost in tears.

Z: IMO? What does that mean?

M: In my opinion. Get down with the internet lingo dude! Yeh it was a horrible ending, although the grim reaper made that film. What a dude!

The grim reaper was a pretty cool guy eh, kills everyone in the world, raps badly and doesn't afraid of anything.

Z: I guess.

M: OK.

What's the ethos of your band? What's the thought process behind the Stallions? What does it all mean?

Z: Play loud, play anywhere with anyone, have fun and drink too much coffee.

Our latest issue theme is hope. Is there any hope for the Stallions?

Z: Dear god, who knows, or wants to know the answer to that question!?!?!


Z: That's alright.

Check out the Stallions live! Peep their Myspace and upcoming dates here.


by Jay Shearman

"I can only guess this record is meant for the kids, and by the kids I mean exactly the sort of raucous, party-obsessed, troublemakers that terrorise our streets today. I mean there isn't even a single ballad on the album and no meaning to the songs. It's as if the entire band only care about making as much noise and annoying as many decent law-abiding people as possible. I am going to have to give this seven thumbs DOWN! An affront to the delicate sensibilities of delicate and sensitive listners across the country. BAN THIS FILTH!

- 1,000,000 / 10

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