A Kick-Ass Kid Rock Khronicle


Written by Jack Blocker
03 Wednesday 03rd April 2013

At some point ages ago Detroit was known for fantastic music. It was the cultural pride of the largely industrial city, and when that industry deteriorated, it remained the sole bright spot. As the artists who shaped Motown began to fade, someone had to inherit that musical torch. And like a tweaker stealing Co-codamol from his grandma's medicine cabinet, Kid Rock took that torch and ran like fuck.

If, like me, you watched MTV Spring Break ’99, Wrestlemania between 1997-2001, and Mit Romney’s campaign trail, you’ll be well-versed in the ways of Kid Rock. But if you don’t know all the made-up words to Bawitdaba, or why Yelawolf exists, then thankfully some dude has made this book for you. That dude is Jeremy Deputat, and although he may look like a DnB DJ from Norwich, he is on point when it comes to cultural shit. Deputat followed Kid Rock for a year, and got all these awesome photos of him smoking cigars, Jim Beaming, and playing with toy trains next to Sean Penn. The book is called, I'm Kid Rock, What's Your Excuse?, and it's yours for only $100.

Here’s Kid hanging with his homie Sean Penn, and a replica model of a San Francisco tram, in what can only be described as the worst situation that’s ever happened on earth.

Here’s our man presumably having his D S’d by some chicks, who, unable to recapture the magic of briefly meeting Fieldy from Korn at Woodstock '99, have resorted to being Kid Rock's fluffers. What a waste.

Kid Rock smokes a bunch of cigars, because it’s what rich people do when they need to think of shit, like songs with names like 'Rock N Roll Jesus' or 'Early Mornin Stoned Pimp'.  

Kid Rock is an artist. Kid Rock is a visionary. Kid Rock is also a lover who totally goes down on chicks.

Catching up on news on a badass American jumbo private jet.

Writing music for American Badasses/people who die of Carbon Monoxide poisoning in Ford Broncos.

RIP Joe C.

Got money? Get rid of it here!

Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy @JackBlocker

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