06 Wednesday 06th August 2014
When I have kids many moons from now, I'm not going to raise them the way my parents brought me up. I won't concentrate on sending them to the best schools or provide them with quality foodstuffs. I won't work my fingers to the bone to give them the opportunities I didn't have, nor will I worry about imbuing them with a sense of self-worth or respect for others.
No, I'm going down the road of Parent 2.0, meaning I'll ferry the little brats around public events in the hope they'll adorably crush it in a local news report about candy apples or rollercoasters or some shit. That will be my ticket out of this hell-hole.
'Apparently' Kid is the latest viral superstar. Given his affable nature and multisyllabic vocabulary, he probably was given all the perks I just rubbished in the first para. Sorry I wrote the blurb before watching it.
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