11 Thursday 11th December 2014
I've got nothing against dudes who sport beards. In fact, I rock one myself. And while it may look like I've stuck a load of pubes to my cheeks with PVA glue, it really does cut down on shaving and general maintenance. What I do disapprove of is the notion that beards are something to be pruned, styled and adorned with accessories.
I've seen people flogging beard balms and other beard-centric snake-oil. Hipster-baiting journos and the Twitterati have even subjected us to the term 'Lumbersexual', as if guys with facial hair should give each other knowing nods when they cross paths in Asda.
However nothing, and I mean nothing, has come close to the western idiocy of Beard Baubles. A company is actually selling Christmas baubles designed to clip to your beard. If you want to be an insufferable cunt who no one finds funny at the office Xmas party, then just attach a normal bauble to your beard. It will save you £7, too.
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