BRITAIN FIRST'S PATRIOT STORE

Britain First's Patriot Store
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BRITAIN FIRST'S PATRIOT STORE



Written by Jack Blocker
04 Thursday 04th December 2014

Great news for the sartorially inclined fascist, Britain First has just launched its flagship online shop! The Patriot Store flogs the perfect garments for your next BF rally, mass kettling, stomach pumping, trip to the job centre, racially-motivated crime spree or dog fight. Take the Taliban Hunting Club hoodie pictured above for example. What better way to convince people you're tackling an extremist organisation on a daily basis, even though you're actually wanking in a bedsit in Swanley while listening to Skrewdriver.

But if a fleece isn't enough, then why not let your racist ideology seep through the very pores of your pasty white skin? Lionheart No. 9 Old School Aftershave is a fragrance from a bygone era, when British patriots fought for the freedoms Britain First members strive to protect today - by getting drunk in Zone 6 backwaters and selling counterfeit DVDs at Kent car-boot sales.

According to the blurb, our forefathers wore a similar cologne at Passchendaele, Dunkirk, in the coalfields, the steelworks, on the docks, in the factories and the fields - and now you can sport it at your latest court-hearing for ABH. 

Smells good doesn't it?

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