CHRIS KYLE VS UNNAMED BRITISH SNIPER

Chris Kyle Vs Unnamed British Sniper
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CHRIS KYLE VS UNNAMED BRITISH SNIPER



Written by Jack Blocker
04 Wednesday 04th February 2015

Just when you thought the buzz was dying down, numerous 'sources' now claim the most killingest (probably a word) sniper is actually British, rendering Kyle's death-toll null and void, and - quite frankly - beta as fuck.

This whole development just leaves one issue - and it isn't an in-depth discussion about a culture that glorifies war, leave that to Comment Is Free - and that issue is who is more awesome!!!!? Kyle or Mystery Marine. Let's break it down.

Unnamed Marine

- 173 kills

- Is alive

- No face

- Wife's hotness not confirmed

- Not sure if swole

- No Punisher merch

- Doesn't know famous people

- Only appears in stock photos

- Humble family man

- No biopic

- Michael Moore yet to comment

Chris Kyle 

- 160 kills

- Is Dead

- Pretty hot wife

- Knows Bradley Cooper

- Knows Sienna Miller

- Knows Clint Eastwood

- Obviously puts in work at the gym

- Rides bulls

- A lot of Punisher merch

- Humble family man

- Has a biopic

- Angers Michael Moore

It's been a close one to call. If I was forced to choose, if I had both Snipers training their sites on my tender skull, if my very decision could literally extinguish the life I cherish and hold so dear, and the cessation of all the functions coursing through my flesh could occur in an instant, I'd probably go with Kyle. 

What do you guys think!!!?!?!

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