A new biography, serialised in today's Daily Mail, claims David Cameron insterted his penis into the mouth of a dead pig. The book, titled Call Me Dave, was written by former Tory peer Lord Ashcroft, who alleges the “future PM inserted a private part of his anatomy into the animal’s mouth” at a meeting of the university’s Piers Gaveston drinking society.
In Cameron's defence, Ashcroft may have a vested interest in painting the PM as the party pig-fucker. Big Dave has never been fond of billionaire Ashcroft's tax-dodging, coalition-bashing outlook on things, and has sought to hinder his career by resigning him to party positions far less influential than his off-shore bank accounts demand. Suggesting a dead pig fellated Cameron may be Ashcroft's coup de grâce in this Conservative beef. Or pork.
Or maybe it actually did happen.
I've seen undergraduates of a certain stock do worse things to enter far less prestigious clubs at vastly inferior universities. Think about it. Think about all of the stories you've heard about the Bullingdon Club, about the Rugby club at school, or any public schoolboy 'japery' alluded to in cultural artefacts as lauded as Brideshead Revisited, The Riot Club, or Goodbye To All That.
Now think if it's really so surprising that our Eton-educated, Bullingdon frequenting PM, once stuck his pink, drooping excuse of a penis into the mouth of a dead pig.
I bet every fucker at that party had a turn. Ashcroft included.