Dear #ThatDress and #LlamaDrama, Thanks For The Content


Written by Jack Blocker
27 Friday 27th February 2015

So let's begin.

Earlier today, a tumblr user known as Swiked uploaded a picture of a dress. Through some idiosyncracy of the eye, Swiked and her pals interpreted the colours of the dress in different ways. Some saw white and gold. Others saw black and blue. But like Swiked, who quickly turned to the internet for an answer, I want to know what YOU see?

Personally, I see lavender and strips of glued on pubic hair. But then I did catch an intense sun beam in the eye when I opened my curtains this morning, so maybe I'm not a good measure.

Anyway, here's why this REALLY matters:

Thanks Kim!

Next up, it's #LlamaDrama.

Close your eyes and take my hand for a moment. We're going on a journey of cultural context. It's 1996. America was on a high after Olympic glory swept through Atlanta and emanated across the nation. Bill Clinton was in the President's office; loveable, engaging, yet to be embroiled in a scandal over oral sex and low-grade marijuana.

The American people were at peace, a society of tranquility, where the very limits of human ill would soon have to be pumped through the television just to remind people what it meant to be alive. Fast forward through two years of a country treading water, and say hello to Sheriff Jon Bunnell:

Bunnell was the indefatigable host of World's Wildest Police Videos, a clip show featuring car chases both dangerous and thrilling; both weird and incredibly wild. Silver-haired and unblinking, Bunnell could pull a double take without moving his face. He wore a leather sports coat like a man who spent his downtime at the horses, cigar clenched in his jaw, unwavering in his convictions and at ease with whatever fate would befall him. He was a man of conviction and strength, and he could calmly handle adversity insofar as he could crush it like a paper cup. He was, for want of no better term, the shit.

Most importantly, the only thing he loved more than the law was the execution of a hilarious pun. Which brings me to one memorable episode. A perp is on the run through the highways of a southern state. The azure sky unfurls across the land like velvet, and were it not for the grainy resolution of 90s TV, your brow would begin to sweat at the site of it. The villain is making ground on the state troopers. Now fate will have to intervene where the law can't. The horizon begins to swallow the suspect's vehicle as his getaway is almost complete. Bunnell sounds despondent. 

But then a young deer bolts across the highway - bounding, terrified - the perp swerves wildly, and the car skids to the hard-shoulder as it fortuitously curves around the erratic path of the heroic fawn. Officers are on the scene and the man is arrested.

Proudly, Bunnell says "He thought he was running to freedom. But a running deer meant the only place he was JAIL."

And so America's love of police videos involving animals was born. So now spend the next 18 minutes watching these llamas run from the law in Sun City, Arizona.

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