DELICIOUS CHEESE TUBES OF DEATH

Delicious Cheese Tubes Of Death
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DELICIOUS CHEESE TUBES OF DEATH



Written by Robert Foster
19 Wednesday 19th June 2013

Use your chubby paws in a tearing motion to get into a packet of cheap white bread. Stop for a breather, treat yourself to a couple of slices.

Cut off the crusts, being careful not to catch your bingo wings on the kitchen counter. Eat the crusts. Cry tears of shame and self-hatred. 

Get some delicious American cheese out of the fridge. Sit down for a minute and wipe beads of sweat from your forehead. Place the cheese on the bread.

Roll up these cheesey, starchy delights into little tubes. Put a knob of butter in a frying pan and put the tubes in the frying pan. Be careful not to get grease on your Moo Moo!

This is a can of soup, have you heard of soup?

Remove from the frying pan, put on a plate. Go to the bathroom.

Ignore the soup - that's just to throw your caseworker off the scent. Insert cheesey starch tubes into mouth. Keel over clutching left arm. Die.

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