DIANE ABBOTT: NOT SAFE FOR TV

Diane Abbott: Not Safe for TV
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DIANE ABBOTT: NOT SAFE FOR TV



Written by Gabriel Mathews
06 Tuesday 06th June 2017

 

 

Credit: Sky News

It’s a combination of blatant incompetence and sheer panic that we are all too familiar with. It’s that moment the teacher asks you a question when you haven’t been listening so your brain steps in - and rather than helping you out, throws you to the wolves by moving your mouth and creating sounds that make words which make a sentence that makes no sense what so ever. That feeling - that moment - is Diane Abbott: the walking embodiment of the feeling of awkward.

In an attempt to understand the phenomenon a little better, we’ve come up with a few reasons as to why this might keep happening to poor Diane.

 

 Credit: Huffington Post

Camera Shy

 The most obvious explanation and one that a lot of us will understand is that Diane is just afraid of being front and centre. It could simply be that the harsh lights, invasive camera lens and crew make her nervous - so much so that she shrivels up into a ball and blurts things out until she can go home.

But how could you think a career in politics would be a good idea if you're cripplingly camera shy? It would be mental to pursue a career that is defined by being in the public eye constantly, where you are required to be in front of cameras whilst also not being able to function in front of cameras… right? Surely not?

 

The Secret Conservative

 Another possibility for such shocking blunders is a more intriguing one, that you would expect to find in the depths of some internet forum. Her consistent cock ups are in fact part of one large conspiracy and she is actually a conservative tasked with the job of bringing down Jeremy Corbyn’s campaign. If this conspiracy theory is correct, she’s not doing a bad job. Weirder things have come to fruition.

 

Blagged the job

We’ve all been there. We’ve talked our way into a position that we have no business of being in but we’ve got the right amount of arrogance and ignorance to think we can wing it and just figure everything out on the job. Whether that’s a new job where you’ve just straight up lied on your CV and now you're doing sign language at Nelson Mandela's funeral.

The lesson is that if you’ve successful got away with bullshitting at somepoint it will come back to bite you and that is exactly what is happening now with Ms Abbott. Perhaps she just never took A level or GCSE Maths and is only now finding out that Maths is hard and requires you to add up those symbols we call numbers.  

 

 

Credit: Twitter 

Regardless of why or how she keeps flopping in front of camera it’s definitely not something that Jeremy Corbyn needs right now. Serious election talk aside, Abbott's interviews are hysterical and we’d love to see more.

In case you missed it, here is one of her maths related highlights.

 

Credit: LBC 

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