What caused this jilted lover to exact revenge in such a barbaric manner? Well, she claims Humphrey leaked footage of the pair having sex and it went 'viral' on the internet. Usually when things go viral on the internet, they appear on the internet. With this in mind, I thought I'd do a quick search for the offending video.
I'm not saying I've spent the past hour trawling numerous porn sites for the tape in question, but I did exhaust a few avenues. No luck. Like getting battery acid tossed on your junk by your girlfriend, I thought this was a bit of a red flag. Still, I am at work, so I didn't want to search smut for too long. Maybe if I was at home I would've pinpointed the culprit, trusted the story and then re-evaluated my life.
Despite the possible existence of the tape, I am still wont to question stories which are deemed veritable solely because they originate from a foreign source. You'll notice that all of the articles make reference to African Eye News Service (AENS). I don't want to slam my fellow journos down in Nelspruit, but I am having a hard time thinking they are really handling their shit - or are in operation.
A website called Times Live seems to be the first to use them as verification, but I'm not sure we're looking at the same agency. For one thing, AENS don't have a website. Their Facebook is fairly active, but makes zero mention of Humphrey and his burnt dick. Secondly, their latest tweet was sent in July and it was not about penis.
Maybe I'm wrong on this, maybe Humphrey will GChat me a snap of his remaining manhood and I'll feel like the worst person ever. But seeing as this story travels down a rabbit-hole of hat-tips to a dubious source, I'm remaining sceptical.
Would Ben Bradlee have run this story? Probably not, but then Ben Bradlee didn't know jack about pageviews.
Do you have a link to the video? Send it over if so!!!!!