DOCTORS USING US AS HUMAN TRASH CANS

Doctors Using Us As Human Trash Cans
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DOCTORS USING US AS HUMAN TRASH CANS



Written by Aisha Nozari
19 Friday 19th July 2013

The act of essentially unloading your crap in someone's body is referred to as a 'never event', as it's universally considered to be something that shouldn't ever happen during surgery. NO SHIT.

Documenting the magnitude of the problem is the first step towards prevention, according to researchers. The study examined data from the National Practitioner Data Bank, which is just a big fat federal place where malpractice claims are stored. Death occurred in 6.6 percent of patients, permanent injury in 32.9 % and temporary injury in 59.2%.

I think this whole thing is totally fucked. I'm meant to be having my appendix out in September, but fuck that, I don't want to spend the next three months shitting scalpels.

Anyway in light of this worrying discovery I think it might be delightful to think about the worst things a surgeon could leave inside you.

 

A really cute kitten. Because who would want to shit out a really cute kitten?

 

A burrito. Mainly just because it would be a waste.

 

A SHIT LOAD OF DRUG$$$! This woluld actually be a good thing, 'cause finders keepers yo

 

 

A WKD bottle. Because my friend from highschool let someone put a bottle of WKD inside her and the police got involved.

This is another good one, Ryan Gosling. Because who wouldn't want Ryan Gosling inside them.

Finally - a Kooks album. Because how the fuck would I go a day without it.

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