DOES ANYONE STILL LIKE CLARKSON?

Does Anyone Still Like Clarkson?
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DOES ANYONE STILL LIKE CLARKSON?



Written by Jack Blocker
30 Wednesday 30th July 2014

Following the controversy that we'll reluctantly call 'slopegate,' I'm interested to know if anyone actually still likes Jeremy Clarkson. After his latest racism scandal, The Lad Bible posted photos of Clarkson as a horse-faced youngster, no doubt to remind us of a time when his racial slurs couldn't be caught by BBC cameras. As much as I'm (somewhat) ashamed to admit it, I scanned the comments under the post to try and get a sense of opinion on the haggard face of cars and witty banter.

You might think Lad Bible isn't the best place to crowd-source the mood of the nation, but if you can't gauge the temperature of Britain on a site that peddles tits, football and casual misogyny then where the fuck can you? Surprisingly, disciples of the Bible were harsher on Clarkson than I anticipated. Even though many called him a 'legend,' some people, like Graham, called him a 'tosser.' Ian called him a 'cunt.' Kris went so far as to call him a 'racist.'

These guys aren't fair-weather followers scrolling past whatever detritus LB drops on their feed in favour of something on Hypebeast (lol like me). These lads actually prise their clammy palms from their genitals to type words and thoughts under Lad Bible's content. This means they've probably been invested in LB from the start, back when the getting was good: When women were still openly threatened on the site and upskirt-fingering shots were traded like the tame Snapchats of today. When Lad Culture was just a sparkle in the eye of Comment Is Free and Robin Thicke was still guest-starring on R. Kelly tracks. These men are Peter and Andrew to Lad Bible's Jesus, and by all accounts they should laugh uncontrollably when Clarkson delivers his sermon. Which, in this case, was racially insulting an Asian person while filming a show funded by taxpayers.

But they didn't. Britain's biggest twats have punched through the bottom of the barrel and found something worse. I think we've finally entered the era when everyone knows Clarkson is a proper shit. Soon, people will only watch Top Gear because they're too hungover to handle ads. Eventually, the guest audience in the studio will be comprised of paid extras and sociopaths on Tinder dates. Finally, the remaining Clarkson loyalists will attempt to rally in support of the man, only for them to slink back to where they came from when they realise how out of touch they are. Clarkson will be dead, and he'll move to America with Piers Morgan and the rest of the twats.

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