In a revelation that will surprise absolutely no one, the late Conservative firebrand, rabble-rouser, riveting orator, racist and mustachioed maniac Enoch Powell has been named as an alleged member of the rumoured Westminster pedophile ring.
As if to further cement his villainous reputation following his death in 1998, it's also claimed Powell was involved in Satanic rituals. Some would say he must have been flagellating flesh in his own name. The claims about Powell were passed to police by the Right Reverend Paul Butler, Bishop of Durham, well over a year ago. They've only just come to light as the notion of a Westminster pedophile ring is becoming depressingly viable.
Here's Enoch kicking back with his pal Jimmy Savile.
Powell's career came to a close after he gave his notorious 'Rivers of Blood' speech, in which he decried growing immigration in Britain to shocked crowd in Birmingham. Even in 1968, it was deemed so infammatory that there was no way he could resume his post as Shadow Defense Secretary. Unsurprisingly, there are factions of Britain today who view it as some sort of logical opus in the face of modern multiculturalism. Including a potential leader of the country.
The Reverend Butler says the claims were made by colleagues who had counselled Powell's victims, who suffered his abuse at the Elm Guest House.
Powell's biographer, Simon Heffer, dismisses the accusations.