Pseudo-serious article klaxon is blaring right now. We're somewhat cursed by geography, in that the U.S. and a host of other countries have big colourful political figures to poke fun at. Over here, in one corner we have uptight rich people who want to turn the country into a large, serf-filled estate alongside a host of pudgy, balding social climbers. Basically, a big bunch of people you wouldn't want at your party (unless you could get ahold of the former group's stash). So people breathe a sigh of relief when the likes of Zac Goldsmith hit the scene; a committed environmentalist, surrounded by a glitzy family, kicked out of public school for smoking weed. Basically Richard Curtis' best hope for Britiain, particularly as Goldsmith is running for London mayor. However, Goldsmith's campaign has been beset by accusations of dog-whistle racism; here are some other reasons he isn't worth a boxed X next to his name...
1. He's A Man Who Seemingly Knows Very Little
Goldsmith was born and raised in London, yet can't answer basic questions about the city.
He doesn't understand fairly stock modern phrases.
He professes to love Bollywood, but can't really speak much about it.
Goldsmith learnt his real name - Frank - when he was 24.
2. Voted to Cut Disability Benefit, Kicked Out As Patron Of Disability Charity
Earlier this year, Goldsmith voted in favour of cutting £30-a-week from half a million disabled people claiming Employment Support Allowance. Charity research has found that many on the benefit struggle as it is to eat or heat their homes, while the Tories contend that it will push people to find work. A member of Richmond AID, of which Goldsmith was a patron, stated that due to Goldsmith's backing of the 'brutal cut' his role was 'no longer tenable'.
3. These Images
4. Suspicious Links to The Lincoln Assassination
Zac Goldsmith is unfit to be London mayor and unable to protect the capital from the looming threat of assassins. By not explicity condemning assassinations, like John Wilkes Booth with slave-freeing President Abraham Lincoln, does Goldsmith not give his implicit support to the murder of prominent political figures? Is it not legitimate that the free press asks why Goldsmith, speaking in the same ideological continuum as Wilkes Booth (i.e. the English language), has remained silent? Do fellow Tories share these abhorrent - if true - views and what is he doing sharing a platform with them (if proven correct)? On such a vital issue, Goldsmith's ambiguity is deeply troubling.
5. FORGET THE GREEN CREDENTIALS, THAT HE WAS KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL FOR SMOKING WEED, HIS GENERAL AFFABILITY, HIS FAMOUS FAMILY, HIS EFFECTIVENESS AS A LOCAL MP: THE MAN IS A FUCKING TORY.