Recently, one of the most contentious political arguments has centred around junior doctors contracts. The government are looking to change the terms in order to create what they claim will be a "seven-day service" and that the lack of it leads to about "6000 deaths a year." However, this argument has been ripped apart.
Opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn claimed that health secretary Jeremy Hunt had misrepresented data and that the figures - shared with the govt. by NHS England director Sir Bruce Keogh - were based on unverified, unpublished data; even an author of that data, Dr. Domenico Pagano, was unhappy with how Hunt was using the figures. Doubt has also been cast on whether working junior doctors would even affect these supposed weekend deaths.
Fearless hetero journo Dale Maily was on the streets of London yesterday, joining junior doctors on their staggering fourth strike against proposed contract changes, bringing to light liberal nanny state ideas like ‘patient safety’ and ‘overworked staff.’
At first Dale was instantly delighted to be in the presence of so many modestly dressed, well spoken middle-class people- so why’d they have to do what failed for the scumbag miners? Soon, among the beards and thick rimmed glasses, he saw he was just among standard issue hipsters reviving that retro 80s pastime- striking. Probably dedicated Corbynistas too!
Dale couldn't get over the viciousness of the crowd, wishing to grab a few by their stethoscopes and shouting "leave Jeremy Hunt alone! Look how well he did as culture secretary, now Murdoch runs the whole media brilliantly!" Dale also thought the NHS deserved a good whipping for the terrible food and willingness to help literally anyone regardless of class, race or income- the egalitarian bastards!
It was such a young audience that Dale didn’t think they had the experience to save the ailing NHS. Asking himself further, as to where the wiser senior doctors were, he realised that there must’ve been a Shipman or two in the midst- but no doctor here will be at their same practice for decades, of course…
Dale tried to take in their messages, the placards made little sense- never can read doctor’s handwriting, can you? Although he could hear their messages loud and clear, thanks to years of expensive, exclusive BUPA coverage- maybe the medicine men should get their ears cleaned out and listen to the wisdom of Dr. Hunt.
Surrounded by those Marxist quacks, Dale yearned for good old British common sense from the likes of dear friends Jeremy Clarkson - “I’d have (striking public sector workers) all shot” - and Jeremy Hunt; after all, can’t junior doctors prescribe themselves something nice and strong to work 7 days a week?
Sure, Dale was mocked by these tireless public servants, but they'll be heading off to other parts of the world soon for good. The traitors!
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