Halloween is a good time to gauge who out of your Facebook friends is a piece of shit or not. With this year's rapid rise in black face and domestic abuse costumes, following the Ray Rice incident, you can almost be sure that something offensive is going to come out the woodwork and hang out on your newsfeed come October 31st. Whether it's your fairly innocuous cat-lingerie or your couples Twin Towers costume, people will take the time out of their day to let you know if they vomited all over general decency this Halloween. Thanks Social Media!
Just let this one sink in for a moment...
What amazes me about the sheer volume of costumes, from the carefully crafted to the downright basic, is people's inability to think of something truly scary. But then if I dressed as something that really terrified me, like my bank statement, my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend or a pit of depression, I'd kind of bring the mood down. So I normally opt for something ghoulish that can be prepared with whatever's in my bag.
If, like me, you struggle in the season of scares, don't fear. Illustrator Alex Salsberg is here to help you prepare to petrify by making an easy and accessible Venn diagram of Halloween costume ideas. The four main categories are Scary, Nostalgic, Sexy and Too Soon, which perfectly cultivates the culture of costumes surrounding Hallows' Eve. For example, if you want to be a little bit provocative and risqué in the sense of sexy and too soon, you could go as The Cloud. Like things scary, sexy AND nostalgic? Try dressing up as Cher this scare season. If you really want to push the boat out and combine all four aspects, Salsberg suggests you go as Joan Rivers. Christ.
Other notable contenders on Salsberg's quick fix solution to the woes of dressing up are: Sexy Nostalgia in the form of a Smurfette, Too Soon in the form of the overdone and not weather appropriate Ice Bucket challenge and Nostalgia in the form of 1990s reminiscence - the surefire choice of SU cirrhosis cases, Buzzfeed subscribers and Quarter-life crises everywhere.
Check out more of Alex's stuff here.