With this in mind, I say Don't Panic should invite everyone who signed the Bring Back Clarkson petition to the world's WORST party!!! I mean, just look at the banter that would fill whatever provincial leisure centre we hired to host!
For those who don't know, Clarkson was suspended from hosting Top Gear after a much publicised 'fracas' with a producer. No one knows who threw down first, but many speculate that Clarkson lashed out when he was told to tone his trademark brand of no-nonsense straight-talking.
But back to the party. Along with logic-antidote Katie Hopkins, the event would feature Jamiroquai, beige slacks, racial slurs, sexist chat, jokes about prostitutes, absolutely zero blacks, muslims or lesbians, more racial slurs and your dad's divorced mate who's still fighting for more time with the kids despite the assualt charge (multiplied by 1000).
One thing's for sure, it wouldn't feature the PC Brigade.
So if you want to make this happen, let us know if you signed the petition and we'll send you an invite. I've got a mate who leases a storage unit near the M25 and I reckon he'll give us a good deal.