09 Wednesday 09th April 2014
What's that? You brought your old Nintendo 64 to University? You brought Mario Kart 64 as well? You're still undefeated on Toad's Turnpike? Guess what, you're that guy. Not that it's a bad thing at all. There's one in every dorm and there always has been ever since the beloved N64 fell from it's pedestal as the "top entertainment console of 1996" and attained that much greater achievment of "only platform in history that makes gaming easier when drunk", rendering it perfect for curbing those freshman jitters and making all the "friends" you need. In fact, the only better way to ensure popularity at University would be to invent a more potent form of Red Bull. Or, of course, be a slut.
Anyway, as of May 30th, Mario Kart will be in it's 8th incarnation. It looks pretty decent, too. Maybe not decent enough to help get you laid during freshers' week, but what favours does that really do for you?
Oh, and here is someone who is better than you at "Mazzer":
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