Refugees are drowing in the ocean, Sam Smith is selling records, Tories are inserting their genitals into suckling pigs. Could it possibly get any worse? The answer is: Yes!
A mum in Manchester complained to her son's school when they confiscated his vape pen! 14-year-old Mason Dunn was trying to kick his 10 a day habit by puffing on some flavoursome clouds, but sadly the headmaster was not about that #VapeLife.
“He came home from school in a terrible state, because he needed nicotine. We have tried to wean him off the e-cigarettes as well, but it is helping," said Sue, his mum. "I went into school and explained the situation but was told it is against the school policy."
Nice stick brah, what e-juice do you blow clouds with?
Instead of realising that the school may have just saved Mason from a life of fedoras, an unearned sense of entitlement, a lifetime of discourse beginning with the phrase "ackshully it's just VAPOR", and celibacy, Sue went to the press. The school did not relent, stating it had a duty to prevent children smoking in any form.
Feel free to meet me in Hell when the world starts to burn. Just follow the cherry-scented vapour to the gates.