ON THE CAMPAIGN FAIL

On The Campaign Fail
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ON THE CAMPAIGN FAIL



Written by Barney Cox
07 Wednesday 07th November 2012

 

Homosexuals + Feminists = Twilight Zone?

"If you're a conservative Republican", the advert starts, "watching the news these days can make you feel like you're in the Twilight Zone." Replace 'conservative Republican' with 'paranoid schizophrenic with very little grasp on reality', and you may be closer to the truth.

 

He's Old, AND on Twitter

One elderly lady tells her friend that Senator Grassley has a 'Twitter'. "Oh, is it curable?" her friend asks. Hilarious, right? To sum up the general gist of this advert: Senator Grassley is old but has a Twitter account. If that doesn't qualify you for governance, we don't know what does.

 

John McCain Saves The World!

Is there anything this man can't do? The Middle East? STABILISED! The nuclear threat? REDUCED! The meaning of life? SOLVED! Atlantis? DISCOVERED! Mars? COLONISED! Jedward? ELIMINATED!

 

Golden Showers

This unintentionally hilarious advert features a giant, laughing businessman apparently urinating on the (rightly) enraged Kansas electorate (who, coincidentally, amount to about a dozen people). Terrifying!

 

Vote for me, I pick up dog shit!

Diane Benson was running for Congress in 2008. In only thirty-seconds, this advert manages to convey effectively her skills at hugging dogs, being chased by dogs, looking slightly bemused, and picking up dog poo. Impressive!

 

MIKE MIKE MIKE WEINSTEIN!

This awful/horrendously catchy song was composed by Mike's son, and was part of Weinstein's successful bid to be Representative of Florida's District 19. How could such an atrocious advert secure a win? He was running unopposed.

 

Definitely Not a Witch

Christine O'Donnell is definitely not a witch. She may have dabbled in boiling little children alive, turning into a cat, disappearing in clouds of smoke, and laughing maniacally, but she is definitely not a witch? Got that? Good. Now she won't have to curse you.

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