Ridiculous YouTube Breakdowns


Written by Jack Sharp
05 Monday 05th December 2011

To some racists this woman is like Howard in the Network – mad as hell and refusing to take it any more. The video has received a woeful amount of support online from people expressing similar views. Some kid calling himself MarmiteMan4 took to YouTube, commending the woman for her courage while standing in front of a Union Jack.

In reality, of course, the woman is a national embarrassment, who’s not at all courageous, but simply batshit insane. With total disregard for her child, she rabidly yells incoherently at tram full of complete strangers.

The video immediately prompted me to think of other online breakdowns, those moments in life where you forget to conform to the social conventions under which you were raised and accidentally show yourself up to be a ridiculous, unrelenting twat.

Modern Warfare Kid

The terrifying by-product of a generation raised on the Saw films and the music of Linkin Park. Staring slack-jawed at the camera and wearing a John Motson-style sheepskin jacket, a young British teen tells of the horrific mental torment he’s experienced playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. With milk-soaked lips, he turns the camera towards a nearby wall and proceeds to punch it, repeatedly.

The only thing missing is the moment where his mum walks in and asks him why there’s blood on the wall and why he’s wearing his granddad’s sheepskin jacket.

The Peckham Terminator

Presumably confused by his own stupidity, a young twenty-something argues on a bus. After making several unsuccessful attempts to leave the vehicle, he eventually decides to smash through one of the glass doors, leaving a distinctively cock-shaped impression on the glass.

Glenn Beck: “GET OFF MY PHONE!”

If Glenn Beck had been born in any other country in the world he would have been committed a long time, but alas, in the US, thanks entirely to rabid new giants Fox News, he’s become an inexplicably popular conservative news pundit. Beck’s notable for his unconventional style of presenting, which often involves multiple blackboards, chalk and an embarrassing lack of shame.

Beck’s incredibly fond of comparing left-wing political figures to Hitler, often illustrating his farfetched comparisons with a handful of swastikas, which Beck (or Fox News) appear to own for some reason. Considering Beck’s practically one breakdown short from crudely scribbling one across his chest with his own excrement, it came as no surprise when a video of him appearing to lose his mind live on his horrendous radio show went viral.

“Kathy, get off my phone! Get off my phone, you little pinhead!” Beck screams at a caller with an opposing political view to his, sounding not dissimilar to a chihuahua passing a kidney stone. “GET OFF MY PHONE!”

Bill O'Reilly: “Fuck it! We’ll do it live!”

Fellow conservative political commentator Bill O'Reilly has also experienced an embarrassing public breakdown. Long before O'Reilly’s much publicised sex scandal, where he reportedly confused a loofah with a falafel, O'Reilly lost it during a pre-recorded closing segment. Apparently, unfamiliar with the term “to play us out”, he yells, “FUCK IT! WE’LL DO IT LIVE!” before composing himself for a moment and delivering his closing monologue through gritted-teeth.

Vanilla Ice

This next one involves notoriously white rapper Vanilla Ice, smashing a copy of his video for 'Ice Ice Baby' on MTV. Featuring a young Jon Stewart and Janeane Garofalo, this one is a personal favourite of mine, solely for the concerned cries of somebody yelling, “No, Vanilla! Vanilla!”

Giant Ballsack Wants His Truck Back 

This next clip has been taken from the US show All Worked Up, and features a heavily tattooed, bloated testicle of a man, who’s prepared to square up to a woman if it means he’ll get his repossessed truck back. To prove that he’s an irrepressible force of condensed manliness, he removes his shirt and throws a small, wooden cabinet over.

Eventually, two employees intervene and try and talk sense to the swollen bulge of fat and testosterone. He’s then forced outside to calm down and it soon becomes evident that the man is only five feet tall. He makes a vain attempt to seem hard by throwing a bit of plastic, but alas, he is a dick.

Remembering that he’s actually just a ridiculous fleshly blob, he eventually backs down and concedes. “Don't you worry,” he barks. “Once I get back you gonna get fucked up!”

The You-Should-Probably-Switch-to-De-Caff Coffee Guy

We’ve all been there, right? You’ve got a presentation in an hour, your laptop breaks and you end up smashing it on the floor and attempting to use the smashed remnants as a spoon, to scoop out and eat the goo that lives in your head. Yep, we’ve all done it! Well, this guy seems to be having one of those days.

Strangely, this man reminded me of the seemingly carefree hack songwriter who appears in this ad from Microsoft’s Songsmith, a program that helps failing musicians write shit songs in just two clicks of a mouse!

How To Fix A Printer

Finally, here’s a useful clip on how to fix your utterly incompetent printer.

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