Sexist Vintage Ads


Written by Charlie Cole
04 Monday 04th February 2013

Oh no. You’ve burnt the food and gotten yourself into a state. Oh well, let’s get drunk and laugh about it. No, not you dear. I will drink the beer. You can remake the dinner you ruined. Silly woman.


Is your husband acting distant, uninterested and unkind? It’s probably because you don’t wash your bits correctly. If you’re losing your ‘dainty feminine allure’, use Zonite to give your ‘marriage’ a once over. Just as it says on the tin, a failure to practice internal cleanliness may result in broken homes, fewer social invitations and a general feeling of being shunned. Upon further research, it has been discovered that Zonite is also advertised as having “101 uses in the home”. You can bleach your toilet, disinfect your kitchen counter and douche all at the same time!


Skin more enticing than personality or intelligence? Now that is one nifty soap. So throw away those wrinkle-inducing books ladies, Palmolive has come up with a sure-fire husband-catching all-in-one beautifying regime.


So, your wife is pregnant, has morning sickness and refuses to get up and make you breakfast. What a lazy bitch. You could make breakfast yourself and bring her a little ginger ale to settle her stomach... or you could give her drugs and tell her to get on with it. 

Pitney-Bowes Postage Meter

Is it always illegal to kill a woman? Yes. Even if they are clearly a useless excuse for a human being – much like this red-headed monstrosity.

Tipalet Cigarettes

As a woman, there is nothing I enjoy more than when my man blows in my face, and thanks to Tipalet, now he can seduce me with a whole variety of flavoured second hand smoke. Evidently this was from an era when smoking was more likely to cause a woman to go down on you than cause terminal cancer.  

Stuffed Girls Head’s

This is less sexist and more just plain perverse. Kind of like an old fashioned sex doll, you can tailor your woman’s head to your tastes and enjoy the elegant glow of a woman’s smile in your front room. Unlike a sex doll however, the 'Conquest Doll' isn’t even for sexual relief. It’s is just a plastic doll’s head mounted on a board like a sick, twisted trophy. I’m sure sexual deviants in the fifties were over the moon with this nifty bit of design ingenuity.

Drummond Climbing Sweaters

No subtlety was used in the making of this advert. “Indoors, women are useful – even pleasant”. Well aren’t those chaps just super sweet on the fairer sex. The advert is meant to show all those burly men out there that you don’t need a mountain to wear a Drummond climbing sweater, and they’re right! You can look like a douche absolutely anywhere, at home, at work, or maybe just out having a gay ol’ time with a few buddies. Isn’t that swell.

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  • Guest: therootofallevil
    Wed 04 - Jul - 2012, 12:08
    Thank god we've got past this: Oh - just changed genders.