SHITTY GUY PRETENDS TO BREAK BACK SO HE CAN PROPOSE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND

Shitty Guy Pretends To Break Back So He Can Propose To His Girlfriend
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SHITTY GUY PRETENDS TO BREAK BACK SO HE CAN PROPOSE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND



Written by Jack Blocker
21 Friday 21st November 2014

Here was an act motivated by love, yet it was performed in a manner so insidious you wonder why any woman would want to spend the rest of her days by this shitwipe’s side. 

In the video, Colton hires out a hospital room and has staff affix a brace to his neck and various tubes to his limbs. He then gets a friend to call Taylor, who urges her to rush to the hospital as the love of her life may have suffered a broken back snowboarding. When she arrives, Colton is lying in bed. When his girlfriend turns to hug his mother, he stands up, only to get down on bended knee when she turns back. How adorable.

As our nationalised healthcare service is constantly under strain, the thought of a stunt like this taking place on NHS time is utterly implausible. Yet as this is ‘Murica, money talks and emotions rule. Colton defended his actions in a YouTube comment, claiming he spends ‘thousands and thousands of dollars a year in that very hospital’. Fair enough, if your country treats healthcare like lunch service then you have a right to order something off-menu, especially if you’re a regular.

Having said that, around 40 million Americans are without health insurance, so making a mockery of something a large portion of your fellow countrymen don’t have access to is an awfully shitty thing to do. What’s worse, just receiving a few stitches in Colton’s hired room would set an uninsured person back a few hundred. The price of a broken back isn’t worth thinking about.

Secondly, Colton claims the hospital was on board because they ‘wanted the publicity.’ This may be the saddest thing I’ve ever read, mainly because I actually sympathise with the hospital. They need private funding. They need to charge people when they’re sick and doctors are contractually bound to sell brand-name medicine. If a patient can’t afford to pay for surgery, they’re legally obliged to re-possess their home to cover the costs.

Us Euros are very lucky. Our hospitals receive good publicity when they employ competent staff, consistently heal the sick and provide healthcare free at the point of delivery. Unfortunately, this is a reality that may soon disappear. Let’s pray it doesn’t.

From a little digging Colton seems like a good person. He’s a wakeboarder and a practicing Mormon. He’s never touched caffeine, let alone alcohol, and he’s probably never harmed anybody. Yet he is a symbol of a uniquely American form of ignorance, where good deeds are delivered in big gestures and self-interest trumps the needs of others. After all, it feels a lot better to give to charity than to pay a higher tax rate.

On that note, I do want to give Colton a resounding ‘Fuck You’, but I don’t hope fate will break his back somewhere down the line. I swear.

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