SIX THINGS TO DO WITH THE INFLATED POUND

Six Things To Do With The Inflated Pound
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SIX THINGS TO DO WITH THE INFLATED POUND



21 Thursday 21st May 2009

 

 

Interior Design

Money could make quite nice wallpaper in either one or multiple values - the royal red of 50s would work well against the subdued browns of the tenner. This was adopted with aplomb in the German Weimar Republic back in 1923, as can be seen above.

Usefulness: Not particularly practical. You would have to apply each note individually. Bit labour intensive.

 

Business Cards

Well, you do know that yours is crap, right?

Print your name, address and job title on the note of your choice and distribute widely in a cynical attempt to garner business mid-financial meltdown.

Usefulness: Bit pointless, unless you're the Queen.

 

Wrap up your drugs

Fold your money into a coke wrap and trade the coke for firewood, food, or weapons.

Usefulness: Unlike money, cocaine actually has some practical value, which it will probably retain even after the collapse. People still have to get high don't they?

Heating

When the economic collapse really hits and the power stations stop working because they have nothing of value with which to pay their workers, things are gonna get a bit chilly. So why not heat your home with the excess stacks of currency piled in your living room?

Usefulness: Paper is not a very good fuel. Better to get yourself some coal, or some wood.

Bathing

Fill your bath, or swimming pool, with your wealth and splash around in your devalued currency like a demented cartoon duck.

Usefulness: Everyone knows money is dirty as hell. Washing in money is a bit like dropping bombs for for peace.

Bespoke tailoring

Take a single note of preferred colour, fold into a shirt as above and wear.

Usefulness: Not very - only comes in XXXXXS

 

Conclusion: Money has almost no practical value at all - apart from as a something with which to wrap up your cocaine.

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