SOME GUY DID ACTUALLY STAB HIS MUM THEN CHOP HIS COCK OFF

Some Guy Did Actually Stab His Mum Then Chop His Cock Off
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SOME GUY DID ACTUALLY STAB HIS MUM THEN CHOP HIS COCK OFF



Written by Jack Blocker
03 Tuesday 03rd March 2015

About 18 months ago, a story concerning a 21-year-old man stabbing his mother 11 times then cutting off his own penis made the rounds. This wasn't a routine act of attempted matricide nor a run-of-the-mill auto cock mutilation though, because this particular culprit was high off his tits on miaow miaow, aka mephedrone - the drug-du-jour for rabble rousing journos and people who want to pay for a low-quality high with an enormous, irrevocable comedown. 

For any discerning reader, it seemed like utter shit. The kind of thing red-tops would dredge from dubious sources to shift a few more copies and rile several thousand people up. It would strike fear in the hearts of parents and cause experimental teens to look at their cock and say, 'could I do what he did? could I chop off my dick with the serrated knife I use to slice bread?'

I would usually have chuckled and then dismissed it as fake, but this report stayed in my memory for one reason. The man was from Haywards Heath, a small commuter town equidistant to Brighton and Gatwick Airport, the place where I was born and raised. Until that point, the only person of note my home had produced was Brett Anderson, the lead singer of Suede. The only worthy event being the opening of a KFC, negating the drive to neighbouring Burgess Hill. Now Haywards Heath was appearing on international news outlets. The guy who cut his cock off had put it on the map, and the only thing capable of stripping Haywards Heath of its global notoriety was proof the story was false.

Well take that Burgess Hill! Haywards Heath is here to stay. Even the BBC is running the story AND there's a mugshot of the suspect, Charlie Mann.

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