Tacky Wedding Trends


Written by Charlie Cole
28 Tuesday 28th August 2012

   We have been contacted by the owner of the below photograph of a bride & groom eating a McDonalds burger. He has asked us to state clearly that their wedding did not take place at McDonalds, and that it was a quick break and photo opportunity before "the arrival to a very elegant restaurant".

   We never said he did get married there, only stipulated that maybe a McDonalds burger wasnt the best wedding breakfast. Either way, we are very sorry for including your photographs and humiliating you and wife. DP.


Modern couples tend to think that creating an original and memorable wedding is the ultimate way to start your journey down the long road that is matrimony. This is very true in some respects, as, after all, your wedding should reflect the person you are. Unfortunately, in the world today, there are a lot of incredibly tacky people. Tacky on the inside and most certainly tacky on the outside. This has created a wave of truly abhorrent wedding 'traditions'. Let's take a look at some of the tackiest nuptial trends on the planet...

Animal Ring Bearer

Animals can be the centre of any loving family. They give joy and happiness to young and old alike. But that does not mean you should strap a pillow on their back and watch them walk down the aisle. Think about how mortifying it was for you to be a bridesmaid or pageboy when you were a child. Now imagine that someone tied the rings on your back, made you walk on all fours with a bunch of flowers in your mouth. This is animal cruelty at its tackiest.

'Crazy' Wedding Services

Look at these two with their jetpacks!! They are having so much fun! Aren't they just the craziest, coolest couple ever!? Inventive wedding services can be a great way to express your personality, but you have the rest of your life to do that too, so how about a nice simple wedding where the first two rows of the congregation don't have to worry about being in 'the splash zone'.

Life Size Cakes

Other than showing off just how hot you think you look, there is no reason to build a life-size fondant replica of yourself in a wedding dress. It would be a much cheaper alternative for you to jump up and down shouting “Look at me! Look at me!”. The great sculptor who formed this feat of artistry also competed in the last season of Food Network's Last Cake Standing. She didn't win. 

McDonald's Weddings

Your wedding breakfast should not include an Egg McMuffin. After the alcohol, the food is the key attraction at your wedding. Think elegant, refined nibbles on silver trays, not nugget canapés and a McFlurry fountain. Also, Ronald McDonald would completely ruin the aesthetic of your bridal party.

Rude Novelty Cakes

Imagine on your big day. Your grandmother walks up to the cake to admire the spectacle, only to see a plastic bride giving her hubby a cheeky BJ on the top tier. If you want your family to know you are not a virgin on your wedding day, this is the way to go.

Themed Weddings

This is a message for all trekkies, for all Star Wars, LoTR and GoT fans. On your wedding day, if you find yourself attaching elf points to the top of your ears, wearing a cloak adorned with a family seal, or forcing your best man to dress as Chewie, you need to step back and take a deep, cleansing breath. Although the prospect of a Minas Tirith wedding cake is pretty awesome, you want to be able to look back over your wedding snaps with love and nostalgia, not shuddering, cringe-worthy regret.

Unforgivable Bridesmaids Dresses

For the love of sisterhood, please don't try to make your siblings and best friends look like extras from Pretty In Pink. They are good women who have supported you throughout your entire life, dress them accordingly. Taffeta, tartan and tulle are absolute no-goes.

The Ugg Boot Bridal Line

Wearing these is unforgivable. A pox on your house if you part with money to own them. During an interview, a young bride from Ontario said it best - “I would judge anyone who would wear them”.

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