Put away your Brexits and UKIP politicians getting banged out, THIS is news.
13 year old Robbie Chappell found a beer bottle containing a message on Hayling Island, Hampshire as he walked his dog on Sunday. When he arrived home, Chappell broke the bottle open with a hammer as his stepdad Robert recorded the crucial moments.
Finding a damp piece of paper, the mysterious communique in all capital letters read: 'DAN AND DAN WAS HERE 1/10/16 12.19PM OUT OUR NUTS ON COCAINE! MASSIVE LOVE FOR THE SESH! LOTS OF LOVE SESH GREMLINS', which sounds sufficiently coked out if you ask me.
Robbie's mother Catherine Smith later said: 'It's got to be the world's worst message in a bottle effort.'
Have a good weekend folks.
Ed's note: Should've made a gag about calling The Police about this particular Message In A Bottle. Alas.
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