THE RETURN OF THE RETROSEXUAL

The Return of the Retrosexual
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THE RETURN OF THE RETROSEXUAL



Written by Rebecca Griffith
19 Monday 19th July 2010

All hail the return of the Retrosexual man! After the latest craze for metrosexual vampires and their ilk, it is time to rekindle our love for those manly men from what now seems to be a bygone era. Think, Horatio Nelson, Steve Mcqueen, Bobby Moore and Jeremy Clarkson. These guys with their uncluttered minds, strong arms and gentlemanly disposition won’t listen to women whilst they ramble on about their latest emotional mini-drama – a simple nod of the head every minute or so will do.

 
 
They have mates – not ‘best friends’ as they are constantly bothered about any similarities with Brokeback Mountain (which no self-respecting retrosexual man would ever actually watch). They are indifferent to their habitat – being forced to buy a bed, table and chairs as a necessity without caring about their physical appearance. However, he may take several months agonising over which 42 inch plasma TV or ridiculously powerful desktop computer to buy.
 
 
To become a retrosexual once firmly embedded in your guitar-playing, poem-writing, hair coiffing lifestyle is not easy, but fortunately help is on hand in the form of every retrosexual’s elixir, Old Spice. In their new ad campaign featuring former NFL wide receiver and all round man’s man, Isaiah Mustafa , the archaic grooming product have used the by-line, “Smell like a man, man” whilst promising “anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady." Take heed boys - this is what women want… a strong man who can sit astride a horse , who will shower you with diamonds and reaffirm traditional gender roles that have been eroded by skinny jeans, guyliner and Nivea for men. Move over R-Pattz there is a new breed of boys in town.

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