The Village Of Sex Offenders


Written by Aisha Nozari
02 Friday 02nd August 2013

Fittingly titled ‘Miracle Village’ is nestled aside the everglades in southern Florida, over two miles from the nearest town. Home to over 200 people, with more than 100 of those being registered sex offenders. It sounds fucking intense.

The sex crimes committed by residents vary, from the viewing of child pornography to the molestation of their own children. There are also a large number of offenders who abused minors while holding positions of power, such as teachers and pastors.

Florida state law rules that those convicted of sexual crimes are unable to live within 1,000 feet of a school, park or playground in a bid to push offenders out of densely populated areas, so Miracle Village’s somewhat rural location provides the perfect little sex abuse haven.

The village was set up back in 2009, by the late Dick Witherow, a pastor with aid organization ‘Matthew: 25’. Witherow said he recognized the difficulties sex offenders faced when trying to find a place to live. It is unknown exactly why Witherow gives a fuck where convicted sex offenders live.

Applications from potential residents are high in numbers, with up to 20 being received each week. Conveniently, application requirements are pretty chill, basically anyone is eligible as long as you’ve fingered a kid or something.

One resident, Edgar Walford, has been living in the community for over 10 years. Walford himself is not an offender, and was a resident of the village long before all the creeps arrived. However, he speaks of his neighbors in the highest regard, commenting ‘it’s a very peaceful place. No one troubles anybody. They’re good people. I’ve made plenty of friends. The only thing we miss is the kids, and the school bus don’t come here no more.’ Oh dear, Edgar.

Not everyone is so stoked on the area’s sudden influx of sex offenders. One local, Kathy, had the following little bit of sense to say ‘I don’t think it’s a miracle at all. Maybe it is for the sex offenders, but for me it’s more like a nightmare on Elm Street.’ Yes Kathz, finally someone who knows what’s up. I mean why is everyone being so safe about this whole setup? It sounds utterly terrifying. Miracle village is literally the all time weirdest/most terrifying thing I’ve ever heard of. How has this freaky Christian sex abuser scene even been allowed to exist? Well uncool guys. It’s all like some next level Stephen King shit if only Stephen King had the capacity to think of something so soul destroying-ly petrifying.

Hey look, it's Edgar!

If you're looking to shit yourself up a little more, read on here.

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